Claire Lerner, LCSW

Just as I was thinking about what to share in my final blog of 2020, I had a consult with a couple that provided the spark. Mid-session, the mom burst into tears as she shared how ashamed and saddened she was at the relief she experienced upon finding that her son had fallen asleep while waiting for her to come say goodnight. The prospect of having some alone-time instead of the seemingly endless ordeal of trying to get him to go to sleep was a dream come true. But instead of enjoying her much-deserved respite, she was…


Claire Lerner, LCSW-C

Few things are more vexing than when children are physically aggressive: hitting, kicking, pushing, biting, pinching. Many parents I work with worry that this kind of behavior signals a lack of empathy. One dad recently wondered about something that is perplexing to many parents: “How could we — such loving, peaceful people — have created a kid who can be so hurtful?”

At the same time, parents fear the consequences for their child: Will she be seen as a bully? Will other children not want to play with him? Will she get kicked out of…


Claire Lerner, LCSW-C

“I’M HUNGRY!” shouts 3-year-old, Jolie, every night after her dads, Kyle and Wayne, put her to bed. Their concern that she is not getting enough nutrition, given how little she eats most nights at dinner, wins out. They reluctantly give in, even though they know Jolie “driving the car” is not a good dynamic.

This is reactive parenting — when we get triggered and act on our emotions without thinking through what our child’s behavior is telling us and what response is going to teach them positive ways to cope with whatever need they are trying to…


clerner92762@gmail.com; lernerchilddevelopment.com

It is my privilege to work every day with the most loving, sensitive parents of young children who are struggling mightily with how to understand and respond most effectively to their children’s challenging behaviors. …

Claire Lerner

I am a clinical social worker with 30+ years of experience partnering with parents to solve their most vexing childrearing challenges.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store